January 26, 2019February 9, 2019 Allison

Mistake: I talk too much!

Mistakes, Real Estate Coaching, Real Estate Tips, Tips and Tricks

Somehow confessing that makes me feel so much better! It’s true though, this is not a new concept for me. I’m pretty sure everyone in my life has told me this at least once and most school reprimanding circled around this one thing…I talk too much! At this point, I’m pretty sure you can probably tell to by the length of some of my posts!

It’s really not that I think I have more important things to say than anyone else, and it’s not for attention, I just tend to be one of those people who get energy from interacting with other people.

This has served me well most of my life, especially when it comes to working in sales and definitely training and public speaking.

Throughout my career though, I learned that sometimes…I do talk to much. Thankfully a few well-placed mentors and people I respected let me know that in the most gentle way possible.

Did you know that conversations have been scientifically researched? Not for content per se, just the act of having a conversation. These studies have shown that the person who talks the most during a conversation or meeting is generally the person that walks away feeling the best, or the outcome was in their favor.

Early on in my career I was trained to work on the recruiting side of real estate brokerage. Let me tell you I thought I was on fire! Every time I would have an appointment I would walk away thinking “Yeah! I nailed that! There is no way that person wouldn’t want to be a part of what we have going on at XYZ Company.” One day my boss asked me why I had been having so many appointments but no one was actually joining us…this was not news to me, and I couldn’t quite figure it out myself. So he decided to “shadow” me on one of my appointments to try to figure it out. After that appointment, we met to recap. His observation…YOU TALK TO MUCH!

He was right, I was so excited to tell the person across from me all the amazing things we were doing and how we could help them be successful and have so much fun doing it….blah blah blah…, I vomited our entire value proposition all over them. I talked myself right into thinking it was the best meeting ever because I got to say everything I wanted to. They walked away feeling completely opposite.

This is when I learned the art of needs analysis and asking good questions. When I say it’s an art, I mean you have to work at it, you have to understand your audience and most of all you have to listen. In personal relationships, not only do you get a deeper understanding of who the person is, but they feel heard and appreciated. From a sales perspective, like a buyer or listing presentation, you learn what their motivation and fears are, you are able to understand their wants and needs.

Think of yourself as an experienced trade person. You have a toolbox full of real estate tools that can help anybody and everybody sell or buy the home of their dreams. Resist the urge to just start pulling out your tools and showing them how obvious it is that you are the person for the job. You know full blown presentation mode.

Lastly, it has been scientifically studied that everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is themselves. When a person talks about themselves it triggers pleasure sensors in their brain, literally a neurological buzz.

This is why I start every interview with a new agent in the same way. “Tell me about yourself.” They always start talking about their real estate business and I politely stop them and say, “before we talk about that, tell me about you and your family”. Immediately they perk up, their defenses come down, and we have an amazing conversation and interview. And if I listen very closely, validate them, and remember to ask good questions…they end up thinking I’m pretty amazing too!