Fight? Flight? Or Both?
The fight-or-flight response (also called hyperarousal, or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival
Wikipedia
When you embark on your career in real estate or are doing your yearly business plan, often times instructors or coaches will pose a question to you that goes something like this. “What is your big Why?”
What that is meant to imply is, who or what is inspiring you to do more in your real estate career. I’ve asked this question to Realtors so many times over the years that I’m pretty sure I have every standard answer memorized and can assign them to a person in the room without even actually asking the question. But the other day my thought process was challenged on this concept.
I was listening to a colleague in the industry, and a very good friend of mine, while he was addressing a room of Realtors. His comment wasn’t directed at them and their goals but directed towards what motivates or demotivates their buyers, sellers, or maybe consumers in general. His answer was FEAR.
As I listened to his explanation something in it resonated with me. Disclaimer: I tend to be a little more of a realist than an idealist.
When we are asked what our “Why” is, it’s often easy to think of the people, things or wants that could and should drive us towards giving our very best in everything we do. Caring about something and loving someone is certainly a daily inspiration to want to do and be better.
But, is being inspired always enough? When my colleague was talking about fear, he said “the fear of missing out” is often more motivating than anything else. Or “the fear of the unknown” can be more paralyzing than a tangible obstacle in front of them. This is when I realized that asking for your “Why” for some people may be inspiring and the only motivation they need to pin to a vision board hanging over their desk and keep them going day in and day out. But for others, maybe the fear could be more inspiring?
I’m going to give you some examples of “Why’s” I’ve heard over the years and I’m going to flip them around into a potential fear. When I started doing this in my mind something became very apparent to me.
Why: I want to give my family a better life. Fear: I won’t be able to provide the basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter for my family.
Why: I want to fund my retirement and live comfortably. Fear: I won’t be able to retire at an age where I can enjoy my time, if I am able to retire at all.
Why: I want to pay for my children’s college education. Fear: I won’t be able to pay for an education for my child, to better themselves and chase their dreams, after an entire life of telling them the could be anything they want to be. I will let them down.
Anything strike a chord with you there?
When I have a dream or aspiration it is very motivating to me. But, I still tend to have an escape route, a Plan B if you will.
Some will argue if you have a Plan B or an escape route it wasn’t a big enough “Why” to start with. I would argue that often times we care about others so much that if our dream isn’t working out at the detriment of someone else, we will pull back to make sure those we care about are taken care of.
So, if you are beginning your career in Real Estate, or maybe you’re just working on your yearly business plan, take a step back and revisit your “Why”. Why are you doing this, Why were you motivated to head down this career path? Who or what is pushing and motivating you daily to reach your goals? Why did you decide that doubling your sales volume was important?
Then once it’s set in your mind, I challenge you to flip the script just a little bit and look at it from the other side. What happens if I don’t achieve these goals? What am I most fearful about should I stay where I am or fail at this endeavor? I’m not being a pessimist here…but maybe my friend was right, maybe fear is a good motivator and the “fear” of not hitting my goals is a little more “real” than just saying I have them.